Best Insults

The right comeback will make you come across as intelligent. It will remind your enemies not to mess with you. It volition make y'all appear potent. Of course, you tin can besides use funny insults on your best friends when they're beingness a petty too annoying. Here are the 80+ best insults to destroy your enemies, or more importantly, your all-time friends.

best insults and comebacks

best insults and comebacks

Comebacks and insults that will destroy your worst enemies

If you want to close someone downward when they start to get hateful, you need to apply ane of these perfect comebacks:

  1. I was today years old when I realized I didn't like yous.
  2. Anytime you lot'll go far. And I really hope you stay there.
  3. Oops, my bad. I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult.
  4. I love what you've done with your pilus. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
  5. Remember that time you were saying that matter I didn't intendance most? Aye, that is now.
  6. Y'all're the reason God created the heart finger.
  7. I'thou busy correct at present, can I ignore you lot another time?
  8. Oh, yous don't similar being treated the fashion yous treat me? That must suck.
  9. I wish I had a flip phone, then I could slam it close on this conversation.
  10.  Due north'Sync said it best, "Good day, Cheerio, BYE!"
  11. I've been called worse things past improve men.
  12. You're a greyness sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
  13. Your secrets are always safe with me. I never fifty-fifty heed when y'all tell me them.
  14. You bring everyone so much joy! Yous know, when you leave the room. But, nevertheless.
  15. How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation?

best insults and comebacks

best insults and comebacks

The best comebacks ever spoken

If you desire to go the last word into an argument, you demand to use these slap-up jokes:

  1. Go on rolling your optics, you might eventually find a brain.
  2.  Your face up makes onions cry.
  3. Did I invite you to the barbecue? Then why are yous all up in mygrill?
  4. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I still have mine.
  5. You have then many gaps in your teeth it looks similar your tongue is in jail.
  6. If your brain was dynamite, in that location wouldn't exist enough to accident your hat off.
  7. Yous are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
  8. It's impossible to underestimate you.
  9. Wow, your maker really didn't waste material fourth dimension giving you a personality, huh?
  10. Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence.
  11. I'll never forget the first fourth dimension we met. Simply I'll keep trying.
  12. Oh, I'k deplorable. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  13. Hold notwithstanding. I'one thousand trying to imagine you lot with personality.
  14. I'thou non insulting y'all, I'm describing you.
  15. Y'all are the human version of period cramps.

Adept roasts to employ on your friends and enemies the side by side time they badger y'all

Don't concord yourself back from saying what you're thinking. Get the all-time comebacks and insults below:

  1. You lot're cute. Like my dog. He also chases his tail for entertainment.
  2. You are like a cloud. When yous disappear, it's a beautiful twenty-four hours.
  3.  You accept an entire life to exist an idiot. Why non accept today off?
  4. Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
  5. Your face is simply fine, but we'll have to put a purse over that personality.
  6. I'thousand not a nerd. I'm simply smarter than you.
  7. I may love to shop just I will never buy your bull.
  8. Child, I've forgotten more than than you e'er knew.
  9. I'yard an caused taste. If you don't similar me, acquire some gustation.
  10. Cheerio. Hope to come across you never.
  11. Don't worry, the first xl years of childhood are always the hardest.
  12. If yous're going to be two-faced, at to the lowest degree make one of them pretty.
  13. The merely way my husband would ever get injure during an activity is if the Boob tube exploded.
  14. If you have a trouble with me, write the problem on a slice of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass.
  15. Consummate this sentence for me: "I never want to run into you ————!"

best insults and comebacks

best insults and comebacks

The funniest, nearly barbarous insults on the internet

Here are the best insults to apply on your worst enemies, or more importantly, your best friends:

  1. I idea of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
  2. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
  3. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you lot today?
  4. OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!
  5. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
  6. I'd like to assistance y'all out. Which fashion did you come in?
  7.  I forgot the globe revolves around you. My apologies, how silly of me.
  8. Light travels faster than audio which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
  9. I'd rather treat my baby'southward diaper rash than have lunch with you lot.
  10.  Y'all look so pretty. Not at all gross, today.
  11. I only take you everywhere I become, so I don't take to kiss yous cheerio.
  12. We were happily married for 1 month, but unfortunately, we've been married for 10 years.
  13. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you meet in at that place for me, would you?
  14. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for yous. You owe it an amends.
  15. That sounds like ayous trouble.
  16. You have miles to get before yous attain mediocre.

The pinnacle smart-ass comebacks on the net

If you're going to apply an insult, at least utilise a clever one. Here are a few of the best on the cyberspace:

  1. I see no evil, and I definitely don't hear your evil.
  2. I'yard just glad that you're stringing words into sentences at present.
  3. Don't worry well-nigh me. Worry well-nigh your eyebrows.
  4. Mirrors tin can't talk. Lucky for you, they can't laugh, either.
  5. Y'all only might be why the heart finger was invented in the offset place.
  6. You lot are proof God has a sense of humor.
  7. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
  8. You must accept been built-in on a highway. That's where most accidents happen.
  9. Take hold of a straw, considering you suck.
  10. You're the reason the genetic pool needs a lifeguard.
  11. If laughter is the all-time medicine, your face must be curing the globe.
  12. I'm glad to run across you lot're not letting instruction go far the mode of your ignorance.
  13. If I wanted to impale myself, I would climb to your ego and spring to your IQ.
  14. I'd agree with you but then nosotros'd both be incorrect.
  15. Your merely chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait.

Comebacks to use on your best friends and family

Use the barbarous quotes below in club to show others that you lot are more intelligent than they are:

  1. Don't exist aback of who you are. That's your parent's job.
  2. I told my therapist most y'all.
  3. Take my everyman priority and put yourself beneath it.
  4. If yous were an inanimate object, you lot'd be a participation trophy.
  5. Hey, yous have something on your chin. No, the 3rd one down.
  6. I hope your married woman brings a date to your funeral.
  7. People similar yous are the reason God doesn't talk to u.s.a. anymore.
  8. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth.
  9. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
  10. You're my favorite person… besides every other person I've ever met.
  11. You're nearly as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
  12. I believed in evolution until I met you.
  13. You are proof that evolution can get in contrary.
  14. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to accident your lid off.
  15. Unless your proper noun is Google, cease acting similar yous know everything!

The most hilarious, roughshod comebacks people volition love

The quotes beneath are perfect for showing someone you tin handle yourself in a fight:

  1. I know you are, only what am I?
  2.  Yes? Well, you odor similar hot dog water.
  3. Isn't information technology dangerous to utilise your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
  4. Pitiful, non pitiful.
  5. If I had a dollar for every fourth dimension yous said something smart, I'd be broke.
  6. I do not consider you a vulture. I consider y'all something a vulture would consume.
  7. If I throw a stick, will you lot get out?
  8. In the land of the witless, you lot would be king.
  9. I would prefer a battle of wits, but yous announced unarmed.
  10. I similar the way you try.
  11. I'm jealous of all the people who haven't met y'all.
  12. People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their optics.
  13. When I meet your face, in that location's not a thing that I would change… except the direction I was walking in.
  14. You expect like something I would draw with my left hand.
  15. I wait ugly? Skillful. I was trying to look like you today.

Perfect insults to share with the people who annoy you lot

When someone insults you lot, don't be agape to apply the comebacks below to insult them right back:

  1. I would never appointment you. I'1000 alone, not desperate.
  2. I don't take the patience or the crayons to explain this to you.
  3. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a centre.
  4. I'd say yous're 'impaired equally a rock,' but at least a rock can concur a door open.
  5. I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask virtually you.
  6. You're a conversation starter. Not when yous are around, but one time y'all leave.
  7. First off: Castor your teeth.
  8. I find the fact that you've lived this long both surprising and disappointing.
  9. You lot're impossible to underestimate.
  10. You should carry a found around with you to replace the oxygen yous waste.
  11. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a hamlet of their idiot.
  12. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions.
  13. I'd give y'all a nasty wait, merely y'all've already got ane.
  14. Mister Rogers would be disappointed with y'all.
  15. If you were the light at the finish of the tunnel, I'd turn back around.

The insult that will close down any argument

These insults are brutal, but they're also hilarious. Share them whenever you get the risk!

  1. Were you born this stupid or did you have lessons?
  2. Yous should really come with a alert characterization.
  3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'm guessing information technology's hard to pronounce.
  4. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart.
  5.  I will ignore you so difficult you will outset doubting your beingness.
  6. Stupidity isn't a crime, and then you're free to go.
  7. Likewise bad yous can't Photoshop your ugly personality.
  8. Don't you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?
  9. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the existent heroes.
  10. Y'all see that door? I want you on the other side of it.
  11. Delight only tell me you don't plan to abode-school your kids.
  12.  If you lot're going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard.
  13. If ignorance is bliss, y'all must be the happiest person on the planet.
  14.  Isn't there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?
  15. Jesus might love you, but anybody else definitely thinks y'all're an idiot.

Insults that will make your enemies laugh aloud

These insults are going to convince others to terminate treating y'all so poorly:

  1. You look similar a 'earlier' film.
  2. Good story, simply in what affiliate practise you shut upwardly?
  3. May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
  4. I am returning your nose. I constitute it in my business.
  5. What doesn't kill you, disappoints me.
  6. Jealousy is a disease. Get well before long.
  7. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than any you merely said.
  8. Don't hate me because I'm cute. Detest me because your boyfriend thinks then.
  9. Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor.
  10. Who ate your basin of sunshine this morning, thundercloud?
  11. Earth is full. Go abode.
  12. You're near equally useful every bit an ashtray on a motorbike.
  13. In that location are some remarkably impaired people in this world. Cheers for helping me understand that.
  14. Aww, it's and so beautiful when you lot attempt to talk near things you don't understand.
  15. Yous fear success, but y'all really have nothing to worry virtually.

nineteen Smart-ass insults to destroy people who are rude to you

These are the all-time insults to utilize on anyone who gets on your nerves:

  1. The last fourth dimension I saw a confront similar yours, I fed it a banana.
  2. Every bit an outsider, what practise you lot retrieve of the human race?
  3. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
  4. Don't try to think too hard. You lot're and then stupid it might sprain your encephalon.
  5. Did your parents ever enquire you to run away from domicile?
  6. You lot're living proof information technology'due south possible to live without a brain.
  7. How much of a refund practise you expect on your head, since information technology's empty?
  8. Brains aren't everything. In your case, they're zip.
  9. I have seen people like you. But I had to pay admission.
  10. Are you lot ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut upwards? Because that'southward how I feel right now.
  11. Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents, for case.
  12. I'd slap you just I don't desire to brand your confront look any meliorate.
  13. I will slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you.
  14. One day, I hope you'll asphyxiate on the crap yous talk.
  15. You accept a face just a mother could love.
  16. If I said annihilation to offend you it was purely intentional.
  17. I hope your next blowjob is from a shark.
  18. You lot're a bad person. Plenty said.
  19. You lot're the type of person who can't read the room. Yous don't understand when y'all aren't wanted.

Great comebacks that come up from famous quotes

Utilize these quotes to put your enemies in their place:

  1. "What, like it's hard?" — Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
  2. "Well, the wiggle store chosen, and they're running out of you. – Seinfeld
  3. "Don't get bitter, just get meliorate." — Alyssa Edwards, RuPaul's Elevate Race
  4. "Impersonating Beyoncè is not your destiny, kid." — RuPaul, RuPaul's Drag Race
  5. "Where'd you lot get your outfits, girl, American Plainly Non?" — Trixie Mattel, RuPaul's Drag Race
  6. "Get back to Political party City, where yous belong!" — Phi Phi O'Hara, RuPaul's Elevate Race
  7. "Y'all are so total of crap, the toilet'south jealous." — Jinkx Monsoon, RuPaul'due south Elevate Race
  8. "It looks similar she went into Claire's Boutique, fell on a sale rack and said, 'I'll take information technology!'"— Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul's Drag Race
  9. "Check your lipstick earlier y'all come for me." — Naomi Smalls, RuPaul's Drag Race
  10.  If you want anything said, enquire a human being. If you want anything done, ask a adult female." — Margaret Thatcher Thought Catalog Logo Mark

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, dearest, relationships, and amusement. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.